In Dire Need of Desks

When I was in the fourth grade all of us childrenthe potential eraser melee that could erupt in the
had those little kiddie sort of desks. You know theclassroom.
kind that's a chair attached to a desk with screws3) The chair/desk combo (what is this thing's
so that you have this sort of immovable chairname?) encourages order. Why? Because there's
desk combination? Well, as I kid I alwayslimited desk space for disorder. In regular desks
wondered why we had such inflexible desks inthere's such an expanse of desk space that you
school in the first place when we were all socould have pencils going one way, papers going
accustomed to eating at tables that had movablethe other way, and still have enough room to put
chairs. I mean, why force children to sit in suchyour head down for a quick pre-lecture nap. In
cramped, fixed furniture? What guides the schoolthe chair/desk combo (seriously, what's this thing's
district's decision in propagating such stringentname?) the desk space is cut down by half,
furniture? I thought about these questions forforcing you to choose between paper/pencil
awhile (because apparently I don't have a life) andspace and nap space. I usually opted for nap
I came up with a few reasons for such deskspace or let the paper/pencil space substitute as
dispersion:my nap place, but you could just play around with
1) Fixed desks keep children fixed. In movableit. But the lack of available spaces forces students
chairs children can move around readily and adjustto utilize the space that they do have more
their positions frequently. Now that sounds like awisely.
good thing, and it is. We don't want to take away4) There's really no fourth reason because I
a child's mobility. But the freedom to move cancouldn't think of one.
be a huge detriment as well, especially inSo what am I saying here? Am I encouraging the
elementary schools. Teachers would have to putforced homogeneity of school furniture? Am I
up with the constant scooting the chair back andendorsing a stringent culture of immobility and
scooting the chair forward. There's the everinflexibly in the classroom? It seems that way,
precarious urge that children have (don't we all) tobut not at all. I'm not denying that the chair/desk
lean back in their chairs and risk their heads tocombo isn't a great tool for the elementary
cement floors. Then there's the noise factor: theschool setting, but I have to share an alarming
constant squeaking of chair, the nose that'sfact with you guys now: people are actually using
generated from people constantly scooting theirthe CD desk (that's what I'm going to call it-new
chairs back and forth, and the loud bang thatname!) in the college setting as well.
occurs when Tiltee finally does crash to the floor.Seriously. I'm fourteen years older, X-amount of
So having such inflexible chair forces kids topounds heavier, and two-and-a-half feet taller than
remain still. There's no scooting, no squeaking, andI was in the fourth grade, but I am in my fourth
no tilting, which means, ultimately, no falling.year of college and am still sitting in chairs similar
2) There's a certain homogeneity thatto the ones I had in the fourth grade. Is that not
accompanies the chair/desk combination thatridiculous? Are you not as outraged and
could be beneficial to the classroom. Have youembittered as I am? Okay, maybe outraged and
ever noticed that when you have desks thatembittered are too strong of words, but I am
have removable chairs, all of the chairs aremiffed about the whole situation I tell you. I'm
different somehow? You have the one chair thattired of the inflexibility of the CD desk. I want
has only three legs (probably the result of aspace to move around in. I want, and desperately
fateful tilting). You have the chair that squeaksneed, more leg room. I don't want to be fixed (in
unmercifully every time you move in. You haveany kind of way). I want the freedom to scoot
the chair that, no matter how much you try toand squeak, and yes, the freedom to tilt my chair
balance, tilts at an odd angle. And then you haveoh so precariously. I want elbow room and nap
that lone, plush, very comfortable-looking chairspace and the opportunity to nose-dive for any
that you have no idea where it came from, butavailable lush, comfortable-looking chair.
that everyone wants and fights over. You'veI'm 22 years old people, and I want a movable
experienced this before right? Well in a schooldesk. I want it! I want it! I want it! I want it! I
setting, the diversity of the chairs could spellwant it! Hm. Hm. Sorry about that. My outrage
chaos as nine-year olds throw pencil sharpenersand bitterness is showing. But in all honesty
and chalkboard erasers and nose-dive for the lonepeople, I think it's safe to say that most people
plush chair or grow frustrated and hurl the(especially people over the age of ten) would
squeaky chair out of the window or somersaultenjoy a little more freedom and flexibility in their
dangerously out of the ever-tilty chair. Okay, Ifurniture. I know I do. The CD desk is great for
know it's never that bad, but I have seen a guypre-pubescent kids who don't know any better.
throw a chalkboard eraser. But with the chairBut for the rest of us, we know better. And we
desk combination everyone would have the samewant better. We want it! We want it! We want it!
desk and you would never have to worry aboutWe want it! We want it!