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Copywriting Makeover: Subtle Changes Make A Noticeable Difference Part 1 Of 2

Changing a few words in your copy canothers on their comparison list.
lead to double-digit increases inOnce my list of benefits was completed,
conversions. If that sounds like a bunchI began relating these options to other
of hype from an online infomercial,kneeling chairs and to users of
stick around and I'll show you how it'sergonomic computer chairs. I wanted to
done.see which benefits on my list were
That's really all that happened withunique in the marketplace. I also wanted
Kneelsit.com, an Australian ergonomicto know about the users of these chairs.
computer chair manufacturer. They hadAfter all, the buyer is the center of
what would be considered a successfulthe process and should also be the focus
site with a continual stream of orders.of the copy.
All the basic information was alreadyMy research revealed some of the reasons
included on the home page, but the ownerusers would need an ergonomic chair and
felt as though something was not quitealso the biggest complaints about some
"there" yet. He wanted a fresh approachof the current ergonomic designs. In
to the site's copy, so that's what headdition, I discovered which benefits
received. And the results were simplywere common to other ergonomic chairs
amazing.and which were distinctive.
The ProblemsThe Solutions
While Kneelsit had great rankings forArmed with the research results, I
their key terms (normally #1 to #4 instarted crafting the copy to speak to
popular search engines) keeping thosethat one person who was forced to sit at
rankings high required some attention toa computer all day, in pain, and who
the SEO piece of the puzzle.desperately needed help. This person had
Conversions, however, were not at theirtried several other computer chairs
maximum. The business was not suffering,before with little to no results and was
but it did have room for improvement.getting skeptical about finding a
So, after receiving a sample chair tosolution.
use during the process, I set (or shouldI looked back over my list of benefits
I say "sat") out to work.in search of the ones that would not be
Once I assembled the chair and rolled itfound in the competition's copy. I
up to my desk, I kept a notepad nearbyfocused on one exclusive, patented
so I could jot down benefits as Ifeature (the axle design) and the fact
noticed them. In just a few days' time,that the chair was customizable for
I had a long list of features andevery body type.
benefits to refer to.I laid out a plan for the new copy
As I read over the original home pageincluding keyword selection, keyword
copy (which can be seen here: I noticedplacement, benefits and key points to be
something else. Many of the benefits Imentioned.
had on my paper were referenced (atSimilar in many ways to the original
least briefly) in the original copy.copy, the new version had some subtle,
Some were phrased differently than Ibut powerful, changes. The goal of the
would later phrase them, but most werenew copy was to show the true
there.distinction of these chairs by
However, in this highly competitivehighlighting the most impressive
industry, I wanted to be sure to keepbenefits.
the uniqueness of the chair on theI would also focus on incorporating
forefront. Visitors needed to quicklykeyphrases in headlines and sub-heads
see that the Kneelsit was superior to(where it made sense to do so) and
other computer chairs available. Thethroughout the copy. I had to pay
changing of some verbiage and providingcareful attention to making the copy
more details in some areas would helpsound natural, as I never want the SEO
keep visitors reading and help themfactors to overshadow the message of the
easily distinguish this chair frompage.



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