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Copywriting Makeover: Subtle Changes Make A Noticeable Difference Part 1 Of 2

Changing a few words in your copy can lead to
double-digit increases in conversions. IfOnce my list of benefits was completed, I
that sounds like a bunch of hype from anbegan relating these options to other
online infomercial, stick around and I'llkneeling chairs and to users of ergonomic
show  you  how  it's  done.computer chairs. I wanted to see which
benefits on my list were unique in the
That's really all that happened withmarketplace. I also wanted to know about the
Kneelsit.com, an Australian ergonomicusers of these chairs. After all, the buyer
computer chair manufacturer. They had whatis the center of the process and should also
would be considered a successful site with abe  the  focus  of  the  copy.
continual stream of orders. All the basic
information was already included on the homeMy research revealed some of the reasons
page, but the owner felt as though somethingusers would need an ergonomic chair and also
was not quite "there" yet. He wanted a freshthe biggest complaints about some of the
approach to the site's copy, so that's whatcurrent ergonomic designs. In addition, I
he received. And the results were simplydiscovered which benefits were common to
amazing.other ergonomic chairs and which were
distinctive.
The  Problems
The  Solutions
While Kneelsit had great rankings for their
key terms (normally #1 to #4 in popularArmed with the research results, I started
search engines) keeping those rankings highcrafting the copy to speak to that one person
required some attention to the SEO piece ofwho was forced to sit at a computer all day,
the puzzle. Conversions, however, were not atin pain, and who desperately needed help.
their maximum. The business was notThis person had tried several other computer
suffering, but it did have room forchairs before with little to no results and
improvement. So, after receiving a samplewas getting skeptical about finding a
chair to use during the process, I set (orsolution.
should  I  say  "sat")  out  to  work.
I looked back over my list of benefits in
Once I assembled the chair and rolled it upsearch of the ones that would not be found in
to my desk, I kept a notepad nearby so Ithe competition's copy. I focused on one
could jot down benefits as I noticed them. Inexclusive, patented feature (the axle design)
just a few days' time, I had a long list ofand the fact that the chair was customizable
features  and  benefits  to  refer  to.for  every  body  type.
As I read over the original home page copyI laid out a plan for the new copy including
(which can be seen here: I noticed somethingkeyword selection, keyword placement,
else. Many of the benefits I had on my paperbenefits  and  key  points  to  be mentioned.
were referenced (at least briefly) in the
original copy. Some were phrased differentlySimilar in many ways to the original copy,
than I would later phrase them, but most werethe new version had some subtle, but
there.powerful, changes. The goal of the new copy
was to show the true distinction of these
However, in this highly competitive industry,chairs by highlighting the most impressive
I wanted to be sure to keep the uniqueness ofbenefits.
the chair on the forefront. Visitors needed
to quickly see that the Kneelsit was superiorI would also focus on incorporating
to other computer chairs available. Thekeyphrases in headlines and sub-heads (where
changing of some verbiage and providing moreit made sense to do so) and throughout the
details in some areas would help keepcopy. I had to pay careful attention to
visitors reading and help them easilymaking the copy sound natural, as I never
distinguish this chair from others on theirwant the SEO factors to overshadow the
comparison  list.message of the page.



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