Copywriting Makeover: Subtle Changes Make A Noticeable Difference Part 1 Of 2

Changing a few words in your copy can lead tocomparison list.
double-digit increases in conversions. If thatOnce my list of benefits was completed, I began
sounds like a bunch of hype from an onlinerelating these options to other kneeling chairs and
infomercial, stick around and I'll show you how it'sto users of ergonomic computer chairs. I wanted
done.to see which benefits on my list were unique in
That's really all that happened with Kneelsit.com,the marketplace. I also wanted to know about
an Australian ergonomic computer chairthe users of these chairs. After all, the buyer is
manufacturer. They had what would bethe center of the process and should also be the
considered a successful site with a continualfocus of the copy.
stream of orders. All the basic information wasMy research revealed some of the reasons users
already included on the home page, but the ownerwould need an ergonomic chair and also the
felt as though something was not quite "there"biggest complaints about some of the current
yet. He wanted a fresh approach to the site'sergonomic designs. In addition, I discovered which
copy, so that's what he received. And the resultsbenefits were common to other ergonomic chairs
were simply amazing.and which were distinctive.
The ProblemsThe Solutions
While Kneelsit had great rankings for their keyArmed with the research results, I started
terms (normally #1 to #4 in popular searchcrafting the copy to speak to that one person
engines) keeping those rankings high requiredwho was forced to sit at a computer all day, in
some attention to the SEO piece of the puzzle.pain, and who desperately needed help. This
Conversions, however, were not at theirperson had tried several other computer chairs
maximum. The business was not suffering, but itbefore with little to no results and was getting
did have room for improvement. So, afterskeptical about finding a solution.
receiving a sample chair to use during theI looked back over my list of benefits in search
process, I set (or should I say "sat") out to work.of the ones that would not be found in the
Once I assembled the chair and rolled it up to mycompetition's copy. I focused on one exclusive,
desk, I kept a notepad nearby so I could jotpatented feature (the axle design) and the fact
down benefits as I noticed them. In just a fewthat the chair was customizable for every body
days' time, I had a long list of features andtype.
benefits to refer to.I laid out a plan for the new copy including
As I read over the original home page copykeyword selection, keyword placement, benefits
(which can be seen here: I noticed something else.and key points to be mentioned.
Many of the benefits I had on my paper wereSimilar in many ways to the original copy, the
referenced (at least briefly) in the original copy.new version had some subtle, but powerful,
Some were phrased differently than I would laterchanges. The goal of the new copy was to show
phrase them, but most were there.the true distinction of these chairs by highlighting
However, in this highly competitive industry, Ithe most impressive benefits.
wanted to be sure to keep the uniqueness of theI would also focus on incorporating keyphrases in
chair on the forefront. Visitors needed to quicklyheadlines and sub-heads (where it made sense to
see that the Kneelsit was superior to otherdo so) and throughout the copy. I had to pay
computer chairs available. The changing of somecareful attention to making the copy sound
verbiage and providing more details in some areasnatural, as I never want the SEO factors to
would help keep visitors reading and help themovershadow the message of the page.
easily distinguish this chair from others on their